Tsunami kills more than 80,000

CNN has confirmed that the undersea earthquake off Sumatra and the giant waves it triggered killed 80,427 people, and that number is expected to rise.

I dont know if it's helping that im posting all these figures here in my blog. Well anyway, i think i'd continue doing this as long as there's something to report. An interesting insight i got from the same site is the misconception that corpses serve as the cause of the underlying diseases. False.

Survivors faced the greatest risk of disease from exposure to feces or other contaminants produced by live people, Nabarro said, and that means it was critical for health officials to move quickly to provide survivors with clean drinking water and sanitation facilities.

The mistaken belief that decomposing bodies lead to outbreaks of diseases often leads authorities to undertake mass burials or cremations, which can add to the suffering of survivors, said Dr. Dana Van Alphen, an adviser to the Pan American Health Organization (PAHO), which is a regional office of WHO.

"In too many cases," said Van Alphen, "authorities rush to bury victims without identifying them, under the false belief that bodies pose a serious threat of epidemics. It is just not true."

These bodies become harmless upon death. Decomposition only follows and that's it.

"After a number of hours, the pathogens inside the dead person's body become not dangerous. They usually decompose and die. And the dead person therefore is not a primary threat to the health of others."

Why be in a hurry to cremate the bodies or burry them when this only deters identification, which is a highly significant process? What people can do instead is focus on the diseases such as dysentery, malaria, dengue etc. which can be acquired through contaminated water.

I thought of a concept for a emotionally laden video. Picture this: as people from one country move the corpses found, while some of the widowed grieve over the death of their spouses, relatives cry over their lost families, and kids suffer and stare blankly at space for being orphaned at 8, 5, 3, the words

At ikay ay kaagad sumusuko
Konting hirap at munting pagsubok lamang
Bakit ganyan, nasaan and iyong tapang
Naduduwag, nawawalan ng pag-asa
At iniisip na natutulog pa, natutulog pa ang Diyos
Natutulog ba?

start to play and then the video goes on all throughout the song... or a good alternative would be take me out of the dark, also by the same artist. I haven't thought yet of a caption to put. Bahala na ang writer don.

CNN.com: Tsunami kills more than 67,000

Sri Lanka: 23,015 -- For information about local residents in Sri Lanka, call + 94 11 536 1938; for tourists the number is + 94 11 243 7061.

India: At least 10,000 -- To contact representatives from India, call + 91 11 2309 3054.

Indonesia: 32,836

Thailand: 1,574 -- Thai emergency hotline +66 2643 5262 and 2643 5000

Myanmar: 90

Malaysia: 65

Maldives: 46 -- Government hotline +44 20 7224 2149

Tanzania: 10

Bangladesh: 2

Somalia: Kenyan media reports hundreds dead

Kenya: Kenyan media reports one death

Seychelles: Unconfirmed reports of deaths -- For information on travelers, call +248 321 676


I know i've just been posting the deaths details for the second day already. I guess i'm just too dumbfounded (naks) by what happened. Not much occupies my brain but this.

Oh, my interviewee still hasnt replied yet. i dont know if she ever will. or at least before jan1. damn. i need it already!!!

CNN.com: Tsunami toll rises above 33,000

• Two days after a huge earthquake sent walls of water sweeping across the Indian Ocean from Thailand to Somalia killing at least 33,000 people, the international community is scrambling to help the region cope. The United Nations is asking donor countries to dig deep, saying this will likely be the costliest disaster ever.
  
  -CNN.com
  
  
• The Drowned World: more pictures
  (photoessays courtesy of Time)

CNN.com: Tsunami toll rises above 26,000.

This was what it said the last time i checked. 7pm. Just this afternoon, as i was watching cnn today, the figure reported was just (or already) 22,000 and still rising. Just 5 hours later, 4000 more have been found, dead. The breakdown of the deaths follows:

DEATH TOLLS

INDONESIA
News agencies report more than 4,730 killed, many of them in Aceh in northern Sumatra.

SRI LANKA
Sri Lankan military authorities report more than 12,000 people killed. Tamil Tiger rebels report 2,000 dead in the territory they hold in the northeast of the country.


INDIA
At least 8,000 killed by waves that flooded the southern coast, official media report.


THAILAND
Thai authorities report at least 1,000 people dead.


MALDIVES
46 people are dead and more than 70 missing, according to Hassan Sobir, the Maldives high commissioner.

Families are flocking to makeshift morgues seeking lost loved ones as hundreds of thousands have been left homeless in Indonesia, India, Sri Lanka and Thailand.

For more updates: proceed here
_____________________________________________________

CNN has been my companion the past few days because of this catastrophe. Every time i switch to the channel, I'm still always left concerned and worried, somehow feeling the deep, formerly unnoticed human connection with these people thousand miles away from me. It doesn't have my interest because i deem that tragedies like this have the prerogative to be the headline everyday of the papers instead of some insignificant, worthless issues. I stand by because i think this should sherve as the more important focal point for us. Look at how many of the Philippines' neighboring countries were left with heavy casualties and we actually claimed just months ago how unfortunate we are for experiencing typhoons one after the other? Where then do we now position ourselves? There has to be a shift of perception. Had the earthquake/tsunamis not happened, we wouldnt have been awaken by our senses as to how lucky we are instead, contrary to what we've thought just a couple of weeks ago. However, who's the more ill-fated isn't the main issue here. The issue here is rather, how we should be tackling whatever is more worthy both of our intellect as well as time.

I was watching the news last night. A couple of people were asked if they think sending aid to other countries was a right decision. Their answers unsurprisingly didn't differ. Dapat dito muna bago yung ibang bansa. Perhaps these people just dont understand. We are sending aids for a couple of reasons: 1. Because Thailand, Malaysia, India, and Indonesia are fellow Asian countries so it becomes instinctive for the Head of the State to come to the rescue. 2. It's all about political strategy and creation of stronger state-to-state bond, or perhaps making new allies.

When i first heard about GMA's decision to send out help, first thing that came to mind was political strategy. I might be wrong but maybe some theorists might actually agree with what ive claimed above. This might be seen as a great opportunity of uplifting the connection among these countries. Politics. That's how it goes. Again, it might be just be for purely altruistic purposes. My heart says it's that, but my mind battles with it saying that altruism has long been buried and forgotten. For every humanitarian act of one state, not the likes of UN or IMF, lies a political design to further his/her world standing. Talk about realism. The idea of grabbing power as it sees opportunity, gaining control as it sees itself fit for a bigger rule.

Putting politics aside, I guess we're all grieving inside for this huge loss to mankind. While some may have survived, it seems that death still hasn't completely left them. With diseases underlying, as they wait for food that should be enough for them (and their families) to live not only by the day but by the following days of hardships they'd still have to bear, for sure, more would still be facing death. They certainly havent escaped from it yet.

PS I received this shocking and sad email from the president of one of my orgs.

Dear all,

Let us pray for Sharky Tan (HR Manager) and her family. They were by the beach at Phuket, Thailand at the time the 10-meter tsunami struck. Right now she is still missing. Her mom is hospitalized and her dad can not be found as well.

Let us all pray for their safety.

Remember what i said about human connection. Now, it's felt even deeper. *sigh*

a new christmas

christmas is over. i wish i was as happy as i was last year or maybe a couple of years ago. if only gifts were to be my gauge of happiness, then, certainly, im very much less happy this year. i only received one gift and that was from jaymie. the first thing that came to mind when i got home with only that in my hand was that, im old. it's like the whole world's screaming straight to my face that i'm already old enough to be receving gifts from relatives. but wait a minute, gifts aren't only for kids. their meaning go beyond just giving birth to smiles on kids' faces. rather, they're given to tell us that people around you are there remembering you, sharing with you what they have, hence, living up to what christmas is all about. or maybe i'm wrong. perhaps i grew up along with the expectation that christmases always come with some fanciful stuff wrapped in fancy papers. as if the season always has to come as a package.

first there are noels being played on the radio. then groups of people singing them to you. third, your chance to fill up your stomach with the mouth-watering food. fourth, the exchange of gifts, which upon completion of secondary school merely becomes a happy memory of ala-guessing game (for most of us) as you shake and try to find out what's inside it; and is then replaced by just giving gifts to, more often than not, more than just a single person whose name we picked from a bowl of 40 names. fifth, booze overflowing and everyone getting wasted, which by the way i still havent experienced until now. sad. sixth, we wake up to a day halfway through, at lunch time with leftovers from last night's noche buena found on the table. christmas may have meant too much for me. i guess, after another year of numerous events and experiences, things changed. so did the way we view circumstances and interpret things around us. i can view this as a sign of two things: that i am maturing and christmas isn't always the wonderful event we, as children, have always thought it was.

among all the christmases ive seen, this year might have been the most different, relatively the saddest, and the most reassuring. the most different because of: one, almost no gifts (as if all my relatives talked about not giving away gifts to us all except the kids); two, we no longer ate at the same time last night, most of them went ahead; three, games were absent- no more shower of coins which the kids have always found fun participating in as they threw themselves to the floor to selfishly grab every single coin that their eyes can pick up on; four, the girls were just slouching on the couch, killing time by watching the provided dvd of lovers in paris while some of us boys were just sitting on the floor telling stories to each other, from time to time having some laughs.

the saddest because i spent the entire day confined in the four corners of my parents' room either watching tv, dvd or reading a book, going in and out of the room to get something that i can stuff my stomach with. it's like the day has just lined up with the other ordinary days. nothing special. nothing to be excited about anymore. or maybe there's just LESS to be excited about. kitchoy's right. it's for kids. they get all the fun and joys of the season. how good it will be if i were to be a kid again. (and not just being isip-bata. hehe.)

and the most reassuring because this season has reminded me of so many things. most of them ive already mentioned above. im sorta not in the mood anymore to make this any longer. perhaps tomorrow i can elaborate.

pare ko

ang awiting ito ay inaalay ko sa mga magkakaibigang magkakaramay sa gitna ng problema. at sa mga taong marunong makisama at laging nandiyan para tulungan ang kaibigang problemado, madalas dahil sa pag-ibig. maganda sanang isipin na kung walang pag-ibig e di hindi magkakanda letse-letse ang buhay ng marami sa atin. pero hindi pwedeng wala, sapagkat ito at puno't bunga kaya't nandirito tayo sa mundong ito. kung pwede mo lang sigurong ihiwalay ang maganda sa pangit na epekto nito. kung pwede lang.

Pare ko meron akong prublema
Wag mong sabihing na naman
In lab ako sa isang kolehiyala
Hindo ko maintindihan
Wag na nating idaan sa moboteng usapan
Lalo lang madaragdagan ang sakit ng ulo at bilbil sa tiyan
Anong sarap
Kami'y naging magkaibigan
Napuno ako ng pag-asa
Yun pala haggang dun lang ang kaya
Akala ko ay pwede pa

(refrain)
Masakit mang isipin kailangang tanggapin
Kung kelan ka naging siryoso tsaka ka niya gagaguhin

(chorus)
O, diyos ko ano ba naman ito
Di ba
Tangina nagmukha akong tanga
Pinaasa niya lang ako
Lecheng pag-ibig to-o-o-oh
O diyos ko ano ba naman ito

Sabi niya ayaw niya munang magkasiyota
Dehins ako naniwala
Di nagtagal naging ganun na rin ang tema
Kulang na lang ay sagot niya
Bat ba ang labo niya
Di ko mapinta
Hanggang kelan maghihintay ako ay nabuburat na

Pero minamahal ko siya-a-ha
Di biro
T.L. ako sa kanya
Alam kong nababaduyan ka na sa mga sinasabi ko
Pero sana naman ay maintindihan mo

O pare ko meron ka bang maipapayo
Kung wala ay okey lang
Kailangan lang ay ang iyong pakikiramay
Andito ka ay ayos na

[sound tripping]

i was unusually sleepy this morning during the mass. it was weird coz from the first one till yesterday's mass, i was doing alright. was paying attention to what the priest was saying though i can no longer remember what was said. apparently as i was listening to the homily, my mind was also wandering off to some place. hmm.. so i guess there's no point in feeling bad that i wasn't able to pay attention to what he said this morning. it's just as good as listening but not understanding what was being said. hehe. see? my short attention span doesn't really help me in any way. (or does it?) well, it's not like i didnt really understand anything any of the priests said before. for the first few minutes, im very attentive to every single word uttered. after a while, forget that im attending the mass. haha. (listening to pare ko right now) my attention's always brought to some place where only my friends and i exist. hmmm... now i feel like i think too much about my friends. or maybe that's just because i love them too much that if there's something i should be thinking about, they come up as the first subject. (in a while i will be posting the words of pare ko. ive learned to love this song.)

Who will see the beauty in your life
And who will be there to hear you when you call
Who will see the madness in your life.
And who will be there to catch you if you fall.

*i know this aint pare ko, but anyway im listening to this song now... beautiful song. agree?

i have a slight inclination towards listening to christmas songs. whether sad or happy christmas song, i don't mind. for me, this season has always had such a positive energy that comes along with it. i don't know why. i guess when the Ber months come, as some radio stations begin playing christmas songs, we're always headed towards this yearning to feel happy. to feel excited. maybe it's the gifts. or the meeting with family members from manila or the province or as far as the united states.

A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever,
For that one special kiss
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this

or maybe it's simply the fact that after all these years, people have always associated christmas with happiness. that despite other people's destituteness, they still find a reason to be happy. (maybe not all of them.) at least, there's always that one time of the year where some people could be happy (or shadow their sadness through a momentary happiness brought by the season; or the worst they could do, pretend that they are happy.)

What I'm dying to say, is that
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

*first, madonna's version. now sponge cola's. puta, astig tong version nila.

damn, i can't focus. the songs im playing are distracting me. aight, i guess it's better if i just post some of the songs' lyrics.

Let me take you to a place nice and quiet
Where there ain't no one there to interrupt
Ain't gotta rush
I just wanna take it nice and slow

And still I see no changes can't a brother get a little peace
It's war on the streets & the war in the Middle East
Instead of war on poverty they got a war on drugs
so the police can bother me
And I ain't never did a crime I ain't have to do
But now I'm back with the blacks givin' it back to you
Don't let 'em jack you up, back you up,
crack you up and pimp slap you up

ha, instead of putting the title of the songs, why don't we play a game? who can guess what songs i listened to?

At ikaw ay kaagad sumusuko
Konting hirap at munting pagsubok lamang
Bakit ganyan, nasaan ang iyong tapang
Naduduwag, nawawalan ng pag-asa
At iniisip na natutulog pa, natutulog pa ang Diyos
Natutulog ba?

last one...

Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that
special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

paalam fpj.

tomorrow will be the 7th morning mass. ha, 3 more and ive completed it twice. or thrice? whichever. what matters is the present. i might be hypocritical if i said that im attending the morning masses for the sake of sacrificing. i'd admit that it's partly because i'm one of the millions of people who believe in being able to wish upon completion of the novena. at the moment, i still don't know what i'm gonna wish for. i'd leave it for the meantime. i guess i'd have the entire 2005 to come up with a wish (but how long do i have to wait before the wish is granted? another year? oh no. i've always believed that wishes are granted after some time. that it has to go through a slow process. you don't see it comin, rushin at ya.) anyway, after the 6 masses ive attended, ive come to realize a couple of things.

one: that i dont like loooong homilies. i'd rather that they're brief and sraight to the point. occasional inclusion of stories is fine. but please don't read me a novel. the first morning mass ive attended was back in manila. the priest, thank goodness, wasn't boring. but still i didn't like his homily for the simple reason that it was long. im easily distracted by things around me so i dont really appreciate it when the priest is telling me so much. and besides, whats the point of preaching for long when not everyone listens anyway? especially that it's 430 in the morning. ha, guess they wouldn't have lasted had he been monotonous. also, they just say the same things over and over and over again. that's why i prefer that homilies be short. they're there to remind us some things. maybe teach us about new things. other than that, release of some corny jokes is just a waste of time. funny, right. but i dont appreciate it. now im being mean. hehe.

two: after attending the second (or was that the third?) mass in gesu, i realized how good it felt to hear the entire crowd singing along with you. they sang and responded actively enough to tell me, hey, we're all in this. usually, in other churches, you wont hear people responding as loud as the ones in gesu that night. certainly that was a night to remember.Ü i'd love to go back there next year.

while typing this, i'm also watching the necrological services for fpj. now seriously, im starting to sympathize with everyone grieving about his death. (erap now delivering his eulogy.) it's sad to see that his death came to him right before christmas. so did kc's (jdv's daughter). hmmm... after listening to his friend's speech about him, my bitterness seems to have vanished. i'm starting to appreciate how he was as a person. it never failed to scare me how good people seem to be meeting their deaths at a young age. maybe this is all but crap. but honestly sometimes, im scared to be tooo good a person to others. i know it's kinda stupid. hehe. anyway... i don't firmly believe on that. it's one of those insane beliefs that from time to time i choose to hold on to. nevertheless, it's standing on weak grounds.

i havent done much for school. i only read one chapter finance (inspired by rina). but i dont have a plan yet of reading those sucky long and boring articles for history. im starting to regret that i took dacudao. argh. i find reading some political texts more interesting than these nonsensical pages (except finance, thats the bestÜ). i should be in bed now coz i'd wake up early pa for the mass. but im still here!!!! (though im ending this na.)

i miss my bfriends.

now erap's attacking gma. (erap: ako'y tinanggal bilang pangulo. but, didn't the people want you out? thats the only wrong thing i heard from him.) kitchoy was the first to have enlightened me regarding fpj's supposed victory during the elections. i believe him. and that leads me to thinking... how it would've been had fpj sworn in as the president... i think for now i can discount the idea of de castro replacing him. looking at how things wouldve been, everyone will just be left with and by a president who most likely wouldnt have done any corruption even until his very last moments here on earth. that would've been nice. that would've been the ideal. but as we all know, a sudden twist of fate and some manipulations from one side change every single citizen, how things are. usually for the worse.

promises are meant to be broken. hehehe.

hhh...

i promise to write a long one tomorrow.

going back home

tonight marks the beginning of xmas break. im both excited and not. the former because i will be back home and not because of the work that i'd have to do. haay... good thing my head doesnt hurt anymore. it did kanina. it was painful for a couple of hours. maybe it was because i played basket kanina. but i dont mind. it was fun playing with some of the boys. i was late in meeting up with krissy because they called me to play some more... i told them i'd stop na, that was around 1015. but they made me feel guilty that one of them wont be able to play without me. so there, i decided to play a bit more. it was fine though. at least i get to do some physical activity sometimes. i left them at around 1045 to meet up with her. haaaa....when i got there, she was reading the guidon. i approached her and called her name... shit. i dont wanna narrate the entire story. the main point is, we didnt get to talk for long because there were other people there. if she was alone, i wouldve stayed until before my philo class. pero hinde. so fine. malas.

im done packing already. ready to go home. both excited and not. i dont wanna go on explaining here the reasons. im bringing with me the whole tangerine tree box for me to munch on during the break. yum yum. im so addicted to it. but that addiction vanishes for most of the year. it just returns when it's december already. it's something which i get only before xmas. food for the gods. hhh... im bringing lots of books with me... both for school and just for fun. im planning to finish the two books ive bought from fully booked. im also planning to learn cad. that sounds interesting to do. i just hope the manual opens in my computer. or else, damn. im dead. id better learn something over the break. im slowly becoming useless and sadly ignorant re so many matters.

ill continue this tomorrow. im off now. i should wake up early pa for the morning mass. i think im going by myself.

halo-halo

kat will be leaving for davao tomorrow. we spent several hours together today. then kitchoy joined us in tne evening. it felt good just walking along bel field. it was one of the most relaxing times since last sem. though the three of us being together is something usual, getting together and just killing time without kat having to worry about any work she's left undone is something that i always look forward to. anyway, God has granted it.

i watched the season finale of for love or money 4 just a while ago. i thought it would have such an interesting conclusion that either the guy or the girl would win a million dollars. that wouldve been great. but then, what first seem to be ideal ended up real. they actually decided to follow their hearts and continue the relationship theyve created. pffft... it's not that im neglecting the essence of love in life. i just thought it'd be interesting to see one's heart broken just because the other party decided to leave her for the money. for a million freaking dollars! what was surprising though was seeing that the guy's check was only worth a dollar. that wouldve been sad. i just thought that if i were to be on that show and reach that moment, i'd choose the money. i know, easier said than done. well... there are other girls you can "hang out" with anyway. kidding. but that's american culture. it's supposed to be like that. but these two people proved us wrong. clap clap.

tomorrow's the last day of school and it seems to me it will just be one sporty day for us guys. we're playing basket tomorrow despite my lack of playing skills and overflowing ignorance on the moves and grooves. and we might play golf too. this is exciting. ill give an update tomorrow night.

i dont feel xmas season yet. it's as if im looking forward to the break as one regular sembreak instead of xmas break, wherein im supposed to feel happy because of the gifts, the cool breeze, the gifts, the great mouth-watering food and the usual refreshing feelings that come along with the holiday. without the xmas jingles being played on the radio occassionally as well as some lanterns on display in some areas where we pass, i won't feel like it's almost here. i just thought that whenever october or november comes, there must be this automatic response of the emotions that shall remind you (or the kids), hey, santa's coming. (but still no snow's falling. partly to remind you too that you're still here in the philippines. hhh...) but with the work coming, i don't think ill be able to fully enjoy my long-awaited xmas break. (most likely, it will be for marketing.) im somehow uncomfortable thinking that someday, i might just look at xmas as another local holiday which i never really paid attention and gave significance to except for the fact that we become free for a day or two. (unless some cruel bitchy teacher decides to dump you with some oh-so interesting school work.)

i havent got gifts for my friends yet. (i only got for my nephew and niece.) i was suposed to get them sunday but it took me a long time to fit the shirts i thought were nice. i got two for myself. (no more shopping for me until next year.) i guess food for the gods will do for the meantime. id just have to grab something for my closest friends. time's tough nowadays. you don't get to save as much as you want. especially when you're very much concerned with your future, that you think spending a bit for gifts to give to some insignificant person will just kill you and leave you bankrupt. pockets empty. that's why spend for the best people only. though it doesn't mean that people who wont be receiving anything aren't special. people just dont have enough free cash to shell out. yes. thats true. even the richest kids don't always have money to spend.

opman test finally over. hahaah. cheating galore. my ass was just saved by some visiting luck. ive been slacking off lately. just figured im already tired from working. yeah, i get tired too. im still human. it's not that i worked too much before. im not like kat. sheesh, she's one superwoman. hat's off to her. hmmm... at this very moment, im just thinking about them. my great friends. it's almost xmas break, hence, id miss them. id like to think how they're like family to me already. despite all the mockery that i receive from them every single day, thats perfectly fine. it's as if that's their prerogative. hahaha. yeah, so no other people can treat me that way. im biased. hahaha. fun never ends when im with them. feels good to have them around.

sad to hear that fpj's gone. i was sort of laughing at it pa that gma's competitor's gone. but after getting my share of the news delivered by on-the-way-to-becoming-a-tribute-to-fpj news programs, my perception changed. hhhh... oh well, life's like that. what's funny was i didnt' know he was in coma until last night. the news of his death arrived faster than his being in coma. (gretchen: yung father ng industriya is... parang he's gone... DUH HE IS GONE!!! what do you mean parang?) i just saw abs-cbn's video tribute to fpj. it seems to me they're becoming pros in doing this. is this another political strategic move? or are they doing this because they really have compassion towards the people? oh well, we don't know what's on their mind.

im tired of typing. i'm off to reading somebody else's blog.

second entry for the night.

c/o fifi_lao's journal: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

(im gonna put a check to all that apply)

June
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness (/). Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive(/). Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay(/). Choosy and always wants the best(/). Temperamental(/). Funny and humorous(/). Loves to joke(/). Good debating skills. Talkative(/). Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt(/). Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored(/). Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn(/).

This quiz isn't so true at all... sigh.

i almost got pissed again tonight for such a shallow reason. how do i control this? hhhh.... this worries me coz eventually this is gonna hurt me. shit.

calasanz's inspiring. whew.

im posting part of my philo paper just because i realized how philo seems to be such an interesting subject. the fact that it makes you think somehow qualifies it as a sensible subject to take. disregard those which just ask you to memorize stuff, i.e, history. i really dont see the point of studying that. at least with philosophy, it brings you to realization or it simply reminds you that there's such a thing as pagpapakatao. in addition to that, i've just finished reading calasanz' my body AKA ang aking katawan. i found it too interesting that i actually borrowed kat's copy of its english version which she used last sem. so anyway, here goes the excerpt: (but dont expect that this has anything to do with calasanz' article)

Materyal, halaman, hayop– may kani-kaniyang katangian, may kani-kaniyang pagkakakilanlan. Umiiral sa limitadong paraan. Tao– umiiral sa hindi mabilang na paraan. Patuloy ang pag-unlad ng isip na nagdudulot ng pagbabago sa ginagawa’t sinasabi. Ang mundo ng tao ay mundo ng pakikipagkapuwa-tao. Hindi lahat bata, matanda, babae o lalaki. Hindi lahat doktor, pulis, pokpok o malibog.

Ano man ang mangyari, huhubugin ng bawat sandaling pakikipagkapuwa-tao (o maging pag-iisa) natin ang ating pagkatao. Tuturuan tayong maging mabuti, masama, matapang, duwag, matatag, mahina. Hindi ako nabubuhay mag-isa. Kung sino ako ngayon ay bunga ng pakikitungo ko sa aking mga kaibigan, kapamilya, maging kalikasan. Ganun din ikaw, siya, sila– lahat ng tao sa mundo. Mahalagang sabihin na ang tanging kakampi at kalaban natin sa pagbabagong ito ay panahon. Kakampi dahil sa paglipas ng panahon, unti-unting nabubuo ang ating pagkatao; kaaway dahil sa pagdating ng kamatayan, tumitigil sa isang tao ang pagbabago– ang pag-unlad ng sarili.

Nabubuhay tayo sa kasalukuyan at dala natin ang bahagi ng ating nakaraan. Hindi man kayang bumalik sa nakalipas ay kaya nating gunitain ang pagiging sarili natin– mula nakalipas tungo sa sandaling ito; mula kamusmusan tungo sa pagtanda.

At ang kasalukuyan ay magiging nakaraan ng bukas. Isa na lamang alaala ng matamis, mapait na nakalipas.


not much to say tonight. so ill end this here.

bothered.

im still bothered by what happened a couple of nights ago. it still doesn't fail to get my attention from time to time while im studying, eating, reading, chatting... hhh...

i dont have much to say about that. im just still bothered.

and i hope tomorrow's a new good day.

PS

1. about finance LT... i just found out i already have several mistakes... eek, thats less 6-8 pts. already!!!!

2. my body still hurts. worked out last wednesday at kitchoy's house. argh. i feel so weak.

trust inexistent.

to find out that the important people in your life don't trust you the way you want them to and even think that you're up to some silly thing is just disappointing. it's as if they don't know you. maybe. it is perhaps true that sometimes your friends know you more than anybody else. it just sucks to know that some people don't know you when they're supposed to. haaay... it's just, argh, frustrating. do i look like someone who's just gonna throw his life away? sheesh, all my life ive never done anything stupid where my future's at stake. (maybe except those moments when i felt like driving quiiiite fast.) pffft... i dont wana talk about this. i feel like this will be just a waste of my time. this isn't something i should worry about. besides it's a pretty damn old issue that just keeps on springing out from time to time. car, school, life. this is so fuuuuucked up. something, someone's to blame... but id rather not name names or identify. better to keep safe or this will be a controversial entry. (or is it already controversial?) if only i could change things. i dont like how some things are at the moment. if only i can change some things... i didnt choose to be in this dilemma. something else started it all. it's like i wanna break free from the present situation. yet it seems like im stuck here. with nowhere else to turn, to run to. enough with this.

im having a conversation right now with my friend. we're talking about how things have changed and that i feel a bit disappointed that things came to where they're at right now. made me realize how weird i'd been. im kinda regretful of what i did. wrong wrong wrong. well anyway, it's happened already. there's nothing i can do about it. at least things are once again okay now.

finance LT was quite easy. there were some challenging questions but luckily i think i got them. fingers crossed for a good grade. my efforts should pay off. (and my efforts for philo too!) i worked several hours doing that paper. i slept at five just for that. i only had 2 hours of sleep. and sleepiness is kinda getting into me now. so this is me signing off.

gibberish.

i got pissed off during finance this evening due to this quiz we had. it was right after the introduction of a new topic just 2 nights before the first LT. haaa... it was such a shallow thing to get pissed over but the feeling that i should be done already after pressing my calculator for some time thinking that i already had the correct answers and in the end, ill find out that i got most or rather some of them wrong just sucks big time. my inner voice spoke to me saying that it shouldve been a breeze answering that. though some parts sort of got my brain twisted, i guess i had been too complacent to believe that it was easy... not until kat started correcting my mistakes. she wasn't the cause of my getting pissed. again, it was more of that feeling i told several lines above. argh, my being competitive again. quit that boy. quit that. pfft...

kitchoy was telling me about this CAD, which he made appear to be so cool. somethng one ought to learn. and that just aroused my curiosity. and so... maybe i can TRY to learn that over the xmas break. and i certainly hope i'd have the patience to put up with it...

i know im supposed to be working again right at this very moment with finance and philo but it seems like my body's calling for me to hit the haya already. have had only about 4 to 5 hours of sleep every single day last week. weekend's my only saving grace. or to be more precise, sundays. lets me sleep from 2am till 130pm. cool eh? and because of the suspension of classes, ive had like 2 or 3 sundays last weekend. wonder when that will happen again. and no im not hoping for another super typhoon to say hello to the country. haha, xmas is coming. isn't that just wonderful. more important than the gifts is the long sleep id get for roughly 2 1/2 weeks. cool eh? or maybe it's the other way around, more important than the sleep... are the gifts. nyahahaha. money would be very very as in VERY much appreciated.

im sabog already.
fcuk.

ps. dodge viper's like a hot momma. so is a benz slk. (c/o kitchoy's status the other night.) and... bugatti veyron. shwack.

Oops... ++

My waiting was put to an end when finally i was able to go to powerplant this afternoon. i spent an hour and a half inside fully booked just going around looking for books that could possibly satisfy the inner geek in me. i was targetting upside down by eduardo galeano but i wasn't lucky enough to have gotten the book . (maita introduced me to that book during our last meeting for IR. hhh... i miss that class. that was like one of the most interesting classes i've had ever since.) neither was i able to avail myself of the calvin and hobbes comic book. it felt frustrating that they didn't have the books i was after. so... World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability by Amy Chua and Snoopy/Peanuts served as the replacements. good enough i guess...

Im done with the first two chapters of the former and so far, it still has my interest. i must say that it's fascinating to look at globalization in another way. well, not globalization per se but the process that comes along with it... as the title suggests, free market AND democracy breed ethnic hatred and global instability. some of us have been told how globalization is such a positive force that with a neoliberal approach, the world's being drawn towards salvation. that each state's level of poverty will go down and that as soon as everyone gives in to the phenomenon, they will see the sweet effect. but what the author is suggesting is that, instead of those changes, what we've always thought will be the solution to the world could actually be the more reinforcing problem. she used the term market-dominated minority to refer to the few ethnicities ruling over the native majority. eg. Chinese in Malaysia, Thailand and/or Burma. it was mentioned several times how these Chinese make up only 1 to 2 percent of the entire population of these countries yet they seem to have the biggest grip on their businesses as they control 70% of the private businesses. and where does democracy come in? when the unheard of majority starts to speak up against the issue of how people of different ethnicity (i.e. Hutus and Tutsis, Chinese and Burmese, Chinese and Filipinos... and the list goes on...) are controlling most of the businesses and becoming richer... at the former's expense. Upon realizing the growing gap between the two and how they seem to be taken advantage of, they turn to one unified belligerent crowd. the idea of freedom alone is brilliant, but the idea of freedom being used as insurgents isn't. anyway. like i said, im only in chapter two...

as i was on my way to cashier, i came across this book called pour all your hear on it (pictured as if being poured into a starbucks mug at the lower right of the cover.) at the back it said "... fans.." TING TING TING! i was called by the book! it was begging for me to get it... so i did. it narrates the story of starbucks' success. woohoo... now i have lots of books waiting in line to be read... i should finish them before xmas or before classes start in jan. ha!

about some serious stuff...

it is disappointing to see how a relationship which was once so tight turned into some regular, normal, bland one. as if best friends turned into mere acquaintances. many factors could have caused that- getting tired, finding a new one, misunderstanding, mistrust, and betrayal. among all of that, the last seems to be the most painful. no no no... i thought of something more painful. it's when party A presumes that party B is betraying him when in reality b isn't. that's as bad as being forsaken by a loved one for reasons one doesn't understand. it sucks big time if that happens. it's as if everything that's shared was obliterated. it's as if there was no sharing that eventuated in the first place. just because of one stupid presumption.

a friend's supposed to TRUST another one. apparently, only when the trust is broken should he stop trusting the other one. otherwise, it seems inappropriate to go ahead of it. it doesn't go like okay today i trust the person and tomorrow, i don't anymore. fine, trust is even less as fragile as a glass. you tap it the right way, the figure remains in shape. you tap it too hard, it breaks. trust doesn't need hard tapping. it might be put to test at some time but it just breaks so easily that sometimes you wouldn't even be aware it happened already. but then if it isn't your fault, you dont cry over it like a child. you just tell yourself, oops. but the ooops won't bring it back to its original shape. even if you try to fix it and succeed, it wont be as beautiful and flawless anymore. this time, there's nothing you cant do about it.

no deep reflections for tonight. just my honest (not hypocritical) wish list.

i thought it was pat's birthday tomorrow (or today, it's already past 12.) but i was wrong. i had to look at the block q directory just to check and find out that it would still be on the 6th... part of me wants to go to his party, part of me doens't. maybe it's the thought that very few q people would be there... it would be rather swarmed by the tali crowd. yeah, tali crowd. (i started referring to them that way just the other night.) the only people i know there would be issa, cris l., em, and of course, kitchoy. (and emman.) and im not close to them except kitchoy. so anyway, i told him that ive pretty much associated the word drinking with the tali crowd. which isnt a bad thing. honest. i think that's rather cool. (haha... this coming from the guy who has low tolerance for alcohol.) but seriously though, i wanna drink again. i still havent experienced getting completely completely drunk that i already lost consciousness. the farthest ive gone was getting tipsy. yeah, pathetic indeed. look at my blog add. it sayd baileys. because i like the drink. though i got to drink it only once. maybe i shouldve used vodka, or gin, or something of that sort.
well anyway...

i almost forgot. i was supposed to make my christmas wish list couple of nights ago. got the idea from sansan's lj. (thanks!)

here it goes:

1. i wish to get as much money as possible without having to stealthily get it from my parents. (that was an old doing. i stopped doing that when i reached high school.) *grins*
2. i wish to get her. one way or another, im gonna getcha... im gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha...
3. i wish to finish the marketing work before xmas. it's such a pain in the ass. (and opman's starting to get me confused. i want this sem...)
4. i wish this sem were over.
5. i wish to be able to eat yellow cab pizza again, watch a movie, buy books, and eat foods which you can only find in lucena. hell yeah.
6. i wish it was xmas everyday. or december every month. its heartwarming to see parols and xmas trees everywhere.
7. i wish love to get a grip on me. (or vice versa.) ive been loveless since birth. hahaha.
8. i wish to see her again. my friend seems to have luck on his side. i hate you. hahaha.
9. i wish everybody'd be happy.
10. i wish my best and super close friends to have a good life ahead of them. and i wish you good luck on your love lives too.
11. and finally, i wish my family the best. (gasgas na noh?)

i was planning to make an entry. but im already sleepy. so i guess id have to delay writing until tomorrow night.

it's gonna be a long weekend for me. good.
it's gonna be a long weekend for others. bad.

let's pray for the people in the provinces yoyong's visiting.