paalam fpj.

tomorrow will be the 7th morning mass. ha, 3 more and ive completed it twice. or thrice? whichever. what matters is the present. i might be hypocritical if i said that im attending the morning masses for the sake of sacrificing. i'd admit that it's partly because i'm one of the millions of people who believe in being able to wish upon completion of the novena. at the moment, i still don't know what i'm gonna wish for. i'd leave it for the meantime. i guess i'd have the entire 2005 to come up with a wish (but how long do i have to wait before the wish is granted? another year? oh no. i've always believed that wishes are granted after some time. that it has to go through a slow process. you don't see it comin, rushin at ya.) anyway, after the 6 masses ive attended, ive come to realize a couple of things.

one: that i dont like loooong homilies. i'd rather that they're brief and sraight to the point. occasional inclusion of stories is fine. but please don't read me a novel. the first morning mass ive attended was back in manila. the priest, thank goodness, wasn't boring. but still i didn't like his homily for the simple reason that it was long. im easily distracted by things around me so i dont really appreciate it when the priest is telling me so much. and besides, whats the point of preaching for long when not everyone listens anyway? especially that it's 430 in the morning. ha, guess they wouldn't have lasted had he been monotonous. also, they just say the same things over and over and over again. that's why i prefer that homilies be short. they're there to remind us some things. maybe teach us about new things. other than that, release of some corny jokes is just a waste of time. funny, right. but i dont appreciate it. now im being mean. hehe.

two: after attending the second (or was that the third?) mass in gesu, i realized how good it felt to hear the entire crowd singing along with you. they sang and responded actively enough to tell me, hey, we're all in this. usually, in other churches, you wont hear people responding as loud as the ones in gesu that night. certainly that was a night to remember.Ü i'd love to go back there next year.

while typing this, i'm also watching the necrological services for fpj. now seriously, im starting to sympathize with everyone grieving about his death. (erap now delivering his eulogy.) it's sad to see that his death came to him right before christmas. so did kc's (jdv's daughter). hmmm... after listening to his friend's speech about him, my bitterness seems to have vanished. i'm starting to appreciate how he was as a person. it never failed to scare me how good people seem to be meeting their deaths at a young age. maybe this is all but crap. but honestly sometimes, im scared to be tooo good a person to others. i know it's kinda stupid. hehe. anyway... i don't firmly believe on that. it's one of those insane beliefs that from time to time i choose to hold on to. nevertheless, it's standing on weak grounds.

i havent done much for school. i only read one chapter finance (inspired by rina). but i dont have a plan yet of reading those sucky long and boring articles for history. im starting to regret that i took dacudao. argh. i find reading some political texts more interesting than these nonsensical pages (except finance, thats the bestÜ). i should be in bed now coz i'd wake up early pa for the mass. but im still here!!!! (though im ending this na.)

i miss my bfriends.

now erap's attacking gma. (erap: ako'y tinanggal bilang pangulo. but, didn't the people want you out? thats the only wrong thing i heard from him.) kitchoy was the first to have enlightened me regarding fpj's supposed victory during the elections. i believe him. and that leads me to thinking... how it would've been had fpj sworn in as the president... i think for now i can discount the idea of de castro replacing him. looking at how things wouldve been, everyone will just be left with and by a president who most likely wouldnt have done any corruption even until his very last moments here on earth. that would've been nice. that would've been the ideal. but as we all know, a sudden twist of fate and some manipulations from one side change every single citizen, how things are. usually for the worse.