trust inexistent.

to find out that the important people in your life don't trust you the way you want them to and even think that you're up to some silly thing is just disappointing. it's as if they don't know you. maybe. it is perhaps true that sometimes your friends know you more than anybody else. it just sucks to know that some people don't know you when they're supposed to. haaay... it's just, argh, frustrating. do i look like someone who's just gonna throw his life away? sheesh, all my life ive never done anything stupid where my future's at stake. (maybe except those moments when i felt like driving quiiiite fast.) pffft... i dont wana talk about this. i feel like this will be just a waste of my time. this isn't something i should worry about. besides it's a pretty damn old issue that just keeps on springing out from time to time. car, school, life. this is so fuuuuucked up. something, someone's to blame... but id rather not name names or identify. better to keep safe or this will be a controversial entry. (or is it already controversial?) if only i could change things. i dont like how some things are at the moment. if only i can change some things... i didnt choose to be in this dilemma. something else started it all. it's like i wanna break free from the present situation. yet it seems like im stuck here. with nowhere else to turn, to run to. enough with this.

im having a conversation right now with my friend. we're talking about how things have changed and that i feel a bit disappointed that things came to where they're at right now. made me realize how weird i'd been. im kinda regretful of what i did. wrong wrong wrong. well anyway, it's happened already. there's nothing i can do about it. at least things are once again okay now.

finance LT was quite easy. there were some challenging questions but luckily i think i got them. fingers crossed for a good grade. my efforts should pay off. (and my efforts for philo too!) i worked several hours doing that paper. i slept at five just for that. i only had 2 hours of sleep. and sleepiness is kinda getting into me now. so this is me signing off.