love bug, love bugs

the past few days, i seem to be bothered by one thing- being single. it's not as if i don't like anyone. that would mean severe abnormality for me. it's just that i thought that it has already been long (i.e. forever) that i have been single. you see, i don't even know how im gonna write about this. i just have so many things goin on in my mind right now that i don't know how to organize each thought into one coherent, understandable writing. yeah, just like the English papers.

my age is catching up with me. and there are also people in my mind (and no i'm not reaching insanity, merely the people who have asked me in the past as well as those at present who are happily spending their last year with their hubbies and sweeties and babies) who are kind of putting me under great deal of stress/pressure. so these two were the main cause of my musings lately. the fact that i'm already getting old and that here's the girl who's available (FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO'S AVAILABLE!) is telling me that i should get started. yet that telling somehow interferes with my principle. make a move only when you know you love the person. in this case, i still don't love the person. and who knows if i ever will. it's simply this: i like her. and apparently, not reason enough. so here's what to do: go get to know her! thing is, you know how fickle-minded i am. one moment i like, one moment i don't. and it fears me that right when i'm in the midst of the getting-to-know process, the devil might arrive. honestly, i don't know what could happen. as all of you may know, i still haven't experienced any of the things above. based on personal experience, i have stopped first (yes, i have made some moves in the past. believe it ('or not' not even considered being included)) before the feeling was gone. so for now, all thoughts clogged up in my brain and i don't know which to entertain and prioritize.

i'm getting pretty serious though about this. hope this goes on for the longest time AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: HOPE, I CERTAINLY DAMN DO, THAT NO ONE WILL INTERFERE EVEN BEFORE I MAKE MY MOVE (IF I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO). otherwise, the curse of being single forever shall take upon me.