hari ng sablay

please lang wag kang magulat
kung bigla akong magkalat
mula pa nung pagkabatamistula ng tanga
sa'n - sa'n nadadapa
sa'n - sa'n bumababangga
ang puso kong kawawa
may pag-asa pa ba

oooh, ayoko ng mag sorry
oooh, sawa na akong magsisi
pasensya ka na mabilis lang akong mataranta

ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari ng sablay
hinding- hindi makasabay
sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay

hari ng sablay
ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari, ako ang hari

isang tama sampung mali
ganyan ako pumili
'di na mababawi ng puso kong sawi
daig pa ang telenovela
kung ako ay magdrama
ganyan ba talaga guhit ng aking tadhana

oooh, sawa na akong mag sorryo
ooh, ayoko ng magsisi
pasensya ka na mabilis lang akong mataranta

ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari ng sablay
hinding- hindi makasabay
sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay
hari ng sablay
ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari, ako ang hari
woah,

ayoko ng magsorry
oooh, sawa na akong magsisi
pasensya ka na mabilis lang akong mataranta

ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari ng sablay
hinding- hindi makasabay
sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay

hari ng sablay
ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari, ako ang hari

still bugged.

they're still there, bugging every moment that i'm free from school thoughts. they have replaced the senseless musings of my ordinary life and comments on mundane things i see around. i still haven't reached the gravity yet of waking up in the morning with that (person/thing) first in mind. or maybe i just don't notice. but there were several nights already having that as my last thoughts. well yeah, considering i'm more in control of what i think about at that time of the day as opposed to the occurence of the first thought when i wake up each morning... if it stands on the first/last level, then it must mean something right? otherwise, it might just be some usual thing. nothing to be excited about. i mean i've gone through this several times in my life and i still haven't experienced something new to tell me that hey, you should be paying more attention to this, or hey, you should be scared now.

i don't know how long it would take me to finally reach a decision as to how i'm gonna respond to the situation. because in the first place, the problem is i'm not yet sure about this. i'm fickle-minded and i'm scared of making a big mistake. especially if THIS is at stake. screw ups are all part of this as they say. but no, i don't wanna be part of the statistic. i want everything to be perfect. because next time, i might not have the courage anymore to do something about situations like this (if i would have the courage ever. ha, let's see.) that's why i need the help of my friends. no matter how much i want to do this on my own, i think it's better if i seek help. this might be the first and last time that i would have plans of making a move and as i said, i wouldn't wanna screw it up. heya friend1 and friend2, i need YOUR help.

the feeling is getting crazier and crazier. i find it scary that soon, everything might just vanish on thin air. just when i have this thought that this might be IT, i might just stupidly lose it. just when i had the opportunity. but the situation is difficult. at least, it is for me. we're like standing on each end of that long hanging bridge, where things from the start to the end will be shaky. id be excited to cross the bridge while she just stands there, looking at how i'm gonna make it to where she is. and she's thaaat far. so it would be a long journey for me, if ever. i'd be filled with cold sweat and covered in fear that as i reach the middle, the bridge will give up. and i'd plunge down to the muddy earth, while she stands still on where she had been standing all the time, each of us no longer having a vision of each other. it would be a sad ending. maybe just on my part.

or it could also have a fairy tale ending.

damn. this is cheesy.

Tell me where it hurts... *sniff*

Why is that sad look in your eyes Why are you crying? (Tell me now)2x Tell
me why you're feelin' this way I hate to see you so down, oh baby! Is it your
heart Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces Makin' you cry And makin' you feel blue
Is there anythin' that I can do

CHORUS:
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby And I'll do my best to make
it better Yes, I'll do my best to make those tears all go away Just tell me
where it hurts Now, tell me And I love you with a love so tender Oh and if you
let me stay I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from Why are they falling? somebody,
somebody, somebody left your heart in the cold You just need somebody to hold
on, baby (Give me a chance) To put back all the pieces Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new There's so many things that I can do

CHORUS:

(Instrumental)

Is it your heart Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces Makin' you cry makin'
you feel blue Is there anythin' that I can do

CHORUS:

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all
go away Just tell me where it hurts Now, tell me And I love you with a love so
tender Oh, and if you let me stay I'll love all of the hurt away

There goes my song.

love bug, love bugs

the past few days, i seem to be bothered by one thing- being single. it's not as if i don't like anyone. that would mean severe abnormality for me. it's just that i thought that it has already been long (i.e. forever) that i have been single. you see, i don't even know how im gonna write about this. i just have so many things goin on in my mind right now that i don't know how to organize each thought into one coherent, understandable writing. yeah, just like the English papers.

my age is catching up with me. and there are also people in my mind (and no i'm not reaching insanity, merely the people who have asked me in the past as well as those at present who are happily spending their last year with their hubbies and sweeties and babies) who are kind of putting me under great deal of stress/pressure. so these two were the main cause of my musings lately. the fact that i'm already getting old and that here's the girl who's available (FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO'S AVAILABLE!) is telling me that i should get started. yet that telling somehow interferes with my principle. make a move only when you know you love the person. in this case, i still don't love the person. and who knows if i ever will. it's simply this: i like her. and apparently, not reason enough. so here's what to do: go get to know her! thing is, you know how fickle-minded i am. one moment i like, one moment i don't. and it fears me that right when i'm in the midst of the getting-to-know process, the devil might arrive. honestly, i don't know what could happen. as all of you may know, i still haven't experienced any of the things above. based on personal experience, i have stopped first (yes, i have made some moves in the past. believe it ('or not' not even considered being included)) before the feeling was gone. so for now, all thoughts clogged up in my brain and i don't know which to entertain and prioritize.

i'm getting pretty serious though about this. hope this goes on for the longest time AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: HOPE, I CERTAINLY DAMN DO, THAT NO ONE WILL INTERFERE EVEN BEFORE I MAKE MY MOVE (IF I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO). otherwise, the curse of being single forever shall take upon me.

happy alone.

i almost thought that i won't be able to go out today. i was very much hoping on getting my hands on Friends till the end book. took such a long wait for my hands to finally get hold of it. yES! i got it! wow, feells so damn good! haha i'm excited to read what's inside.

and seeing so many gaiman books upon entering fully booked, i got hyped up! can't wait for july 9. i swear no SINGLE org can interfere in my plan. i shall go there to have 2 of my gaiman books signed. damn. i won't miss this opportunity for shit. (sorry for the lang)

went malling all by myself, still a bit bothered by the absence of any companion. sheesh, i wonder where allll (yes emphasis on the word) these people are. oh well. doesn't matter. i shall do fine tomorrow even if i go alone again. i shall be fine. yeah.

then there was the coming of age. literally.

i keep telling myself that i'm still 19. surely, still not willing to let go of the "-teen" in my age. there seems to be a gloomy, dark story associated with being... a year older. old. -er. nineteen IS old yet it doesn't compare when one speaks of being twenty. it's like how there seems to be a vague transition while one is still in the -teen years; how after 19, then and there, is the big leap to another decade of experiences. the dawning of a thousand and one stories. the pristine moment leading to another huge batch of pages on one's auto-/biography.

having celebrated my birthday just yesterday, but with no treat to any of my friends (sure saved couple of thousand bucks), i have realized several things.

1. less people greet you on your birthday as you get old. i don't know why. i'm not even sure if it's only me. or is it merely customary that when one has passed a certain age, people just don't give a damn about one's getting old anymore? haha, you crossed the line. so say goodbye to happy birthdays. you're left alone to greet and throw some birthday bash for yourself! weee.
2. (this may not really pass as a realization, simply a notable experience) older people's birthdays aren't as much fun as they were before... or decades earlier. maybe there is a thin line between aging and birthdays. a correlation of... .90? geeky geeky... stop. anyway, does a person's maturity in terms of... everything, start at a certain age? that parties aren't a prerequisite for a memorable, or simply a fun ('-filled' deleted) one?
3. not going out to celebrate doesn't really take away the celebratory feeling within. just being home with family is more than enough. the mere fact that we were complete last saturday night (yes, even my never-present sister was there). so it was a really sweet moment. rarely does it happen that we're all there sitting around the table, sharing food, filling our stomachs up and... melting on the intense heat that night.

and to be consistent with my entry title, read the following for an even bigger proof that i am both getting old and that i am old:

Your RealAge is 26.7 [while my biological age is 20].

DO MORE STRENGTH-BUILDING AND CARDIOVASCULAR ACTIVITIES. ALSO INCREASE THE
INTENSITY OF YOUR OVERALL WORKOUT.

EAT A HEALTHY BREAKFAST EVERY DAY.

GRADUALLY WORK UP TO AT LEAST 90 MINUTES OF STRENGTH-BUILDING EXERCISES EACH
WEEK.

GRADUALLY WORK UP TO 210 MINUTES OF CARDIOVASCULAR EXERCISES A WEEK.

ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEAT BELTS. ALWAYS HAVE AIR-BAG PROTECTIONS AVAILABLE WHEN
IN A MOTOR VEHICLE.

INCREASE YOUR DAILY VITAMIN C INTAKE TO AT LEAST 1,200 MG.

INCREASE YOUR INTAKE OF VITAMIN E TO 400 IU A DAY.

INCREASE THE DIVERSITY OF YOUR DIET.

CONSIDER GAINING A LITTLE WEIGHT.

REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF RED MEAT IN YOUR DIET TO ONE SERVING OR LESS A WEEK.

INCREASE YOUR DAILY INTAKE OF CALCIUM.

CONSUME MORE UNSATURATED FAT WITHOUT INCREASING YOUR CONSUMPTION OF SATURATED
FAT.

FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH BENEFITS INCREASE YOUR VEGETABLE INTAKE.

HAVE YOUR HDL AND LDL CHOLESTEROL LEVELS MEASURED.

FLOSS EVERY DAY.

FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH BENEFITS, INCREASE YOUR GRAIN INTAKE.

FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH BENEFITS, INCREASE YOUR FRUIT INTAKE.

ADD FLEXIBILITY EXERCISES TO YOUR ROUTINE.

EAT MORE FOODS THAT ARE RICH IN POTASSIUM.

in short, i am being told that i have to live a healthy [not even healthier] lifestyle. not unless i wanna meet death early. but i say, no thanks. i can envision a successful [definition subjective] future ahead of me.

a personal note to me: get rid of your temper, just smile your problems away, chillax!

so... live, love and laugh... forever.

hopeful banners of one.org. You, too, can make a difference.

i might be acting too philantrophic or even ideal but i guess it doesn't hurt if sometimes, i would believe in what have become dormant ideologies (yes, i have stopped being an idealist for quite some time already) and the steady power of campaigns. this would be one of the few times when i'd wholeheartedly support a campaign for a good cause. (not that i'm a prime supporter of destructive ones)

right, keep their hopes up...

i didn't seem to have answered my own question with my own reflection last night. i thought that perhaps i wasn't even close to answering it. i was getting there, but didn't come close.

to go direct to the point though, i think it's better that we stick to gloria. besides the fact that luck's on her side for being able to still hold on to the position, i think that the reason why she's still there is because there's no one else deserving to govern. and when i say deserving, i mean someone who's both competent and tough enough to take the job. sure gma has her own story of the neverending buzz for corruption. can we ever avoid that? (right, some might say had fpj won, we would've had a corruption-free government. and what about a double figure decline in investments, economic development and any other aspect a head of the state is responsible for? think about that.) send gma out of the palace and who do you get for replacement? definitely not noli, for he's leaving together with her. who are your remaining options? if they say that the solution to that is through calling snap elections, then expect another lady to be there. well at least i'm assuming that the hopeful public would vote for someone they think has the heart for their eternal salvation, ehem, did i just hear susan roses? oh please. that's the biggest joke! people pack up and migrate!!!

well, i still have some hopes left for lacson. i don't know how he would handle things but perhaps, he's the next best thing. just not anyone from the opposition. i bet all they can do is keep people's hopes up by endlessly reciting fpj's vision for the country, which still is still afloat despite the absence of its source (thanks to his widow). that way, they can fool them into believing that the latter will start to lead better lives from that time that the new administration they 'have been waiting for' sits and takes over the palace.

*sigh*

politics, politics.

to oust or not to oust gma?

seems like another political catastrophe is around the corner. the philippines is becoming more and more unstable like it had been a couple of years ago. many people are waiting for gma's stepping down. many of them no longer can wait for a new administration to govern them. thinking that they would be better off. placing all the blame on the present system.

perhaps when one living just a little bit above, on, or already below the poverty threshold, to make himself feel better, he resorts to blaming other people for such an unfortunate and disheartening fate. and more often that not, or even all the time, the government becomes the target for such a status. perhaps because it is the one in charge of the overall economy, the political atmosphere (healthy or unhealthy), the social happenings and the other imaginable aspects that contribute to the survival of a country WITHOUT looking at how themselves contribute to the overall picture. they always resort to viewing things on the macro level, putting aside the equally significant micro elements/players, i.e., themselves.

sure the government has its own mistakes, if i may say, big ones in our case. but i guess focusing on one confusingly gives people the 'go' sign to open up a totally new issue to worsen things up. as if everything is but a part of an inevitable chain of national mayhem. witnesses spring out from all corners (without the people realizing how each one might simply be coming from the same group, that is the opposition). what matters to the public, i am assuming, is that the government stands accountable for whatever is happening to their lives and thank God for having all these witnesses around to save them from continuous deterioration of their quality of life.

i think for this country to work, we need a miracle. i know, same old cliche. but what else can save us? just when we think that the current administration would lead us to where we want to be. indeed it has done some improvements to put us in a somewhat elevated level. or maybe only few could feel that. for as long as the poor are not salvaged from where they're standing at the moment, they would always feel cheated, held up, miserable. they want instant solution to their problems. right. dream on. they want to live a better life. right. dream on. i guess another problem is how they ask for a lot without understanding how many factors are currently moving and active in partaking in the big process. how each of these factors affect one and the other. they think that the government can easily give them what they want when it wants to. that's absurd. although the government might seem in control of so many things, they're not really in control of everything. the public has penchant for strikes and demonstrations. for coups. for complaints. for blurting out their anger. but i guess alongside all those things is also the government's penchant for change. for reform. for improvement. and of course, not to mention... corruption. or is that merely a tendency?

i don't know.

for now, i'm still on the side of the administration. i still believe that most of what's happening now is but a part of a big plan to overthrow the present system. everything is coming from the opposition. gma's surely up for one big test. the biggest one perhaps she's encountered so far. and to be able to stand it all could mean either of these two things: that she's a truly strong truthful leader or she's a truly clever one to have found her way out of every mess pointed at her at the moment.

bitin

i should be working on the IISDC task at this very moment. but it's not the deadline till tomorrow. so yeah. i have lots of time to finish the task.

the past few days, ive learned to appreciate even more the value (despite the low monetary value heehee) of pirated stuff- both the dvd and vcd. to catch up on all the movies i've missed, i'm very thankful for the continuous business done by delgic. a true community service for the people of lucena. it is to my knowledge how the patronage of pirated stuff, as was claimed by some celebrities, kills their fellas. i myself almost gave in to that perception. but i guess the reason behind such a strong conviction lies in the fact that they as celebrities have no problems earning the bucks to purchase origs. hence, it becomes easy for them to say and and do as they claim. but what about the common tao who merely relies on these wonderful creations of technology for their well-being? [entertainment truly translates to a person's well-being]

what these employees earn for a week might not even be enough even for one orig. dvd! they spend on a lot of necessities. so they must work and work and work. moreover, for them, it's not all about being able to eat three times a day. it's not simply holding up to the edge. or as we say it in filipino, kapit sa patalim. Filipino culture is a culture that seeks enjoyment, happiness, relief in the midst of all the economic downturns, the sufferings, the misfortunes. all the political turbulence and instability creates for them a necessity that can only be found in all the entertainment movies and music makes for them. whether it's local or foreign doesn't matter anymore. it now becomes imperative that alongside their need for food and clothing and shelter, that there also be the singing and the dancing allowed by music and the tearjerker and hilarious movies going around.

so in the end, can we blame US? it is not our fault that we opt to go for the cheaper ones and in connection to that, neither is it our fault that these origs are overpriced.

just when i have all the time to blog, that's when i am not in the mood. the random things that would make a blog entry:

1. citibank
2. mrt
3. school
4. schedule
5. being 20
6. death
7. books
8. magazines
9. work
10. graduation
11. money
12. getting old

i wanna end it here. i have sort of lots of stuff to do starting... today. despite that though, i feel like a very responsible kiddo. hahaha.

c2 peach. very addictive.
red ribbon tiramisu meltdown. nice. indulge.

haay i love eating. i wish that was all i had to do.

strange brew

i freaked out last night after seeing that only 6 and 12 slots were left for the two required finance classes. for a moment, i thought, fuck, who stole thos slots for me? considering my bad number, i knew i wouldn't make it. and yeah, that freaked me out, too. that stupid random number. i don't think this is the time that i needed that bad random number. i couldve had that last year or two years ago. at least not this sem. i feel like with that, i have big chances of having a fucked up schedule. argh, i can't believe that school hasn't started yet and stress is already bugging me! for goodness sake, i don't need that for the moment. or maybe i don't need that ever. if only it could stay away for years. anyway, i had to call the secretary this morning to ask about the slots for those two classes. fortunately, i was told that i was already pre-enlisted. ha, slots assured. now, i can breathe with relief.

the other day, as i was eating at the canteen, a guy doing the sign language caught my attention. for a moment, i didn't know what he was doing. i can't seem to remember what was going on in my head. yet after some time, seeing that he hadn't stopped, i thought he was a mentally ill man, and i wondered what was he doing here? i mean he was doing the thing endlessly and didn't have anybody to 'talk' to. it went on for a little over 10 minutes. so who wouldn't think the same way? *shrugs* on the table to his right, there were two ladies just looking at what he was doing. i thought that perhaps they were just as curious as i was. maybe what he was doing was interesting or rather, WEIRD enough to call the our attention. but just when i thought those two ladies were with me, i was surprised to have found out that instead, they were with him. yes, they were also deaf mute. one of the two did some of the thing. perhaps she was just trying to mimic him. again, i was wrong. the three of them started 'talking'. fear got into me. this would be mean but i thought: ...... nevermind. i'd rather not spill. i just got so uneasy. honestly, i thought the guy was insane. i know, i know. the correlation between doing sign language and insanity doesn't quite appear. but the vague connection i found really was there!

on the other side of the canteen though, the one in front, there was like a bible session. interesting, i thought. then behind me, the side you see upon entering the canteen, i saw a talk being held. something about fire/ fire prevention. isn't it quite inappropriate for this time of the year to talk about such a thing? rainy season has just begun and look at them, talking about preventing fire.

seeing those three things made me realize that there were also some strange happenings at citibank. strange, maybe not in the truest sense of the word, but somehow, strange enough for me.