troubles of materialism (no in-depth reflection)

the feeling of hearing the mass alone, when usually your friends tag along with you, for the first time today, was unusually strange. being the type who's used to being on my own in most of the ways thinkable, what i felt this afternoon was... unprecedented. i was hoping that they were still here and that we could hang out some more. the thoughts that got me thinking last night (refer to previous entry) put me in this nostalgic situation. no no no, nostalgic isn't quite the word. replace it with uneasy. there was this hope that i could still connect to someone on the phone and ask if we could hang out. oh well, i guess summer's the next best chance.

im still here in lucena. leaving on wednesday. no regrets though of staying for a couple more days despite the absence of friends. im still on this celebratory state of being home, resulting to a celebratory feeling. there really isn't a place quite like home. familiarity holds a strong place in me. temporary or maybe even permanent lifestyle deviation or geographical relocation creates no problem as long as it's for a better, more extravagant life. i like the feeling of having a level 10 satisfaction produced by the idea of materialism and all else that come along with it, living through it, and indulging in it forever.

that explains my dream to be filthy fucking rich. all my other dreams, if lived, would be quite above the budget of and excessive for most of the people. certainly, nobody else would be there to finance the realization of my not really far-flung ambitions, dreams, hopes. but the number problem really is, how does one get fucking filthy rich? yeah yeah, work mightily hard and a pray that a lil bit of luck is showered upon you. hope that's not BS. so in one's quest to be FFF (fucking filthy fortune), questions arise proportionately with answers. whether it's what degree brings in huge cash inflows or how hard is the hard in hardworking or what is the qualified gpa (or qpi in my case) for that dream job or where does one locate his paradise or maybe for an overstatement, heaven- all these questions can or cannot be easily answered. if one finds answer though, it shall be a subjecttive answer, a highly subjective one. anyway, expect that as one goes along to live that dream, troubles shall come his way. whether it's mustered up by something beyond his control or his own ignorance.

without these, life would be much much simpler (i.e, if one doesn't find himself crossing the line that divides the "happy" and poverty-stricken life.