rica peralejo's gamitan?

it seems like the issues which bugged me couple of months ago are here again, coming back to life to take up so much of my time. brought about by an incident a couple of nights ago, those which i thought have long been buried to oblivion are here again to take hold on my attention. im actually trying to be defensive about it while trying to convince myself that hey, i should just let these things go. they're not worth worrying about. maybe to a certain extent, that's true. but there's always the possibility that one gets fed up with what he gets from people around him. if one gets caught up in such a situation, how should he deal with it?

letting go isn't a matter of choosing between grabbing a white/blue or black and 1 shoes. or so i think. for me, letting go whether of one bitter experience or memory, or of personal issues requires that one detaches himself emotionally from that which has gotten him trapped, incarcerated. and to attempt to free one's self from being a prison seems like such an overwhelming task that only strong people can fulfill. havig experienced this, i say it isn't as tough really as it sounds like. you only have to convince yourself (yes, this is a prerequisite to freedom) that this is just one of the few and maybe best ways of dealing with it.

or take the isolationist approach. stay away. but i suppose that ain't really the best one available out there in survivor world.

from a ym conversation:

just to comment to what you said earlier: yeah i know that it might be wrong to stay away from them but then for me i do it as a defense mechanism... there's the fear nga that we might get too dependent on them... im also the type of person kasi who expects a lot from a friend... maybe both of us have that ideal friend in our mind... and the difficult part is finding that in our friends... again, for both of us, the only thing that makes us happy is knowing that we have very good freinds... i mean, they dont really do much for me... but i certainly appreciate those little things that they do. and im proud that they are my friends... actually im only referrring to 2 persons e... hahaha. and you know, one of the few ways of dealing with such problem that i have in mind is to just think that to think negatively of your relationship with your friends just leads to a more disbonded one. or maybe i used the wrong word... perhaps you'd just be less tight as friends...

if asked why im being so damn nice to some of my friends? i'd say, because that's all i can be. better than being cool. just as good as being great. i dont know how they'd respond if they were asked the same question. likely the same way. or maybe some cocky guy would claim otherwise.

PS take the idea philo has taught me and an r18 movie has introduced me to- gamitan.